Six-Week Program
Week 3 Group Meeting: Pray to the Lord
Leader Guide
Meeting notes & overview
This meeting invites participants to share their experience of Step 3 of the BNL process in a reflective, open, honest way. The goal is not perfection, but awareness—becoming more attentive to what has been happening in both their outward and inward lives.
As people share, some may speak easily, while others may be more reserved. Everyone is welcome. Creating a space of attentiveness, respect, and openness to all is central to this gathering.
Your role in this meeting is not to guide people to conclusions, but to help create a space where honest sharing can happen.
A calm, attentive presence—along with simple encouragement—is often more powerful than many words.
Time allotments are based on a one-hour meeting and can be adjusted as needed.
Opening activities (approx. 15 minutes)
Opening prayer
Open with a brief prayer, or invite someone else to offer one.
Reading
Read the following aloud, or invite a group member to do so.
Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.
For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You have protected me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me….
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my thoughts;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:1-11, 23-24)
Check-in
Invite each person to share a highlight of their day or week, or an opening comment.
To keep the process moving, each person should share only a sentence or two.
During this time, the group simply listens without comment or discussion, though as the leader, you may allow some flexibility.
After each person shares, respond with “Thank you” before moving on.
If the group has more than eight participants, consider breaking into smaller groups of four to eight.
Group business
Share any announcements or decisions that need attention.
If there is nothing to address, skip this portion. Like Check-in, it should move quickly.
Task for this meeting
Read the following aloud:
This past week, your task was to choose an issue in your life to work on, and do one of the following:
If you recently attended a BNL Workshop-Seminar, revisit your Step 1 and A Prayer from the Heart worksheets, and take some time to fill them in more fully.
Using a fresh set of worksheets, go through Step 1 and A Prayer from the Heart.
You were also asked to read the article Three Ways to Become Aware of Your Thoughts, Intentions, and Will.
Pause here and invite any questions before moving into group sharing.
Group sharing (approx. 30 minutes)
Transition by saying something like:
“Let’s take some time to share about your experience of Step 1, and then your experience of offering a prayer from the heart.”Begin the sharing by asking:
“What was your experience of Step 1?”Later, invite sharing on the next part by asking:
“Following Step 1, you were invited to offer a prayer from the heart. What was your experience of that, and what effect did it have?”Allow sharing to unfold naturally, giving space for each person to respond as they feel led. If needed, use any of the following questions to encourage further reflection and sharing.
Getting Started with Self-Examination
What was it like for you to get started into self-examination? Did it feel easy, difficult, or somewhere in between? Some people feel nervous, anxious, or hesitant at first, while others feel curious—or even eager—to dive in. We all process things differently. What was your experience like? Were there any barriers you had to work through? If so, what helped you move past them, and what effect did that have on you?Working Through the Columns
What was your experience as you worked through the four columns—Actions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Will? Did any one of these stand out to you or affect you more than the others?Trying the Suggested Methods
Did you try any of the methods described in the article? If so, what was that like for you? The three methods are:Asking for God’s help in becoming aware of your thoughts, intentions, or will.
Reviewing what you had already written in the prior column.
“Speaking with the Enemies in the Gate”—engaging your struggles visually and more directly.
Sensing God’s Presence
As you engaged in self-examination, did you notice any sense of God’s presence? If so, what was that like for you?Experiencing Grief
Did you experience any grief of mind or heart as you went through this part of the process? If so, what effect did it have on you?Working Together with God
Did you experience any sense of partnership with God during this step? If so, what was that like?Noticing Positives
The article you read mentioned that “positives” can emerge during self-examination—true or good responses that may be helpful later on in the process. Did you notice any of these? If so, how did you receive and hold them alongside the other things you were discovering?
Closure (approx. 15 minutes)
Task for the next meeting
Read the following aloud:
Your task for the coming week is Step 2 of the BNL process: Recognize and Acknowledge Your Sin.
Do one of the following:
Review your Step 1 and Prayer from the Heart worksheets, and then complete Step 2.
Using a new set of worksheets, go through Step 1, “A Prayer from the Heart,” and Step 2.
Also, read Section E of the BNL Sourcebook: When You’re at Fault for a Wrongdoing…and When You’re Not.
Come to the next meeting ready to share your experience of Step 2.
Leader for the next meeting
If your group shares leadership, take a moment to decide who will lead the next meeting.
Closing comments
Invite each person to share a brief closing comment.
This is not a time for further sharing—just a simple word or brief reflection.
It’s a time to listen, without comment or discussion.
After each person shares, respond, “Thank you,” before moving on.
If the group is larger than eight, consider breaking into smaller groups of four to eight.
Closing prayer
Invite the group to say the Lord’s Prayer together.